Proven Ways to Improve Your Confidence in the Workplace

In order to be more productive at work, one must be confident about his skills and not second-guess himself every time a task needs to be accomplished. Though it is normal to be cautious about certain tasks every now and then, it is important to keep in mind that being cautious or lacking in self-confidence is not equal to being incompetent.

Sometimes, even the smartest employees tend to have so many reasons to lose confidence, thus making them look incompetent at work. Everyone must have experienced emotions such as shame, embarrassment, and humiliation at the office. Some may be able to continue on with work like normal despite traumatic situations, but there are also people who just lose their confidence after making a mistake.

It is important to take note of the factors that may induce lack of confidence. Knowing what causes this problem can help a person address and successfully deal with it. Here are two of the most common causes of lack of self-confidence:

  1. Bad Relationship with Employer or Boss

This is probably one of the most common causes of a situation that can decrease one’s self-confidence in the workplace. If a worker knows that his boss will never approve of his work and will always find fault regardless of the effort he put into a specific task, he will never be able to confidently succeed in a job.

Confidence with your boss is essential in making career improvements but if there is a bad relationship between a worker and an employer, this confidence will be hard to build.

  1. Negative Peer Relationship in the Office

It is also very hard to confidently finish a task when surrounded by negative people in the office. This is especially true if there is a pack mentality within that tries to undermine specific workers that a group feels threatened about. There are bullies even in the office. Building confidence is the only way to repel this kind of bullies.

Now that you know the common situations or factor that induce a lack in self-confidence, it’s time to focus on things that can be done to actually build confidence. If you want to advance in your career, it is important to be able to build confidence. So, here are a few tips:

Focus on “You.”

If you always worry about what others will think, you will never be able to confidently finish a task. Regardless of politics in the office, the rumor mill, and other possible underhanded maneuvers done by office bullies, they will never be able to produce harm if you stay focused on the task at hand. Confidence comes forth if you know you gave the task your best shot. It is far easier to feel good about one’s self for a job well done rather than knowing that you only finished a job to get it over with quickly.

Identify your strengths.

confidence and persitence

In order to be confident, you have to know your strengths. Not everyone has the same skills to offer a company. Identifying strengths can help people capitalize on what they are good at. If you know that you are good at sorting things out, it will be engaging for you to take on jobs that can utilize that strength.

Identify your weaknesses.

It is also a good idea to identify weaknesses in order to properly work on them for the better. If you don’t feel confident because you are not so good at public speaking, you can work on that and make a plan in order to eliminate this problem.

Try hypnosis.

Others find it effective to get into hypnosis to improve their self-confidence. This is a very popular method because it is inexpensive and doesn’t entail too much risks. Basically, hypnosis can help someone identify his strengths and weaknesses and work on it while under therapy. It is a very painless solution that can be done without much effort or struggle.

Confidence is a very important feeling towards one’s self. Without it, a person will never feel like he is worth anything. Building confidence may take time. So, be sure to follow the tips keep track of your daily achievements in order to be more aware of your capabilities and be able to hold your head up high in the workplace.

Raise Your Self-Esteem and Have a Happier and Healthier Relationship

There’s a direct and provable correlation between self-esteem and relationship conditions. Sociologists have found out that people with low self-esteem tend to be in abusive relationships compared to people with high self-esteem. People with high self-esteem tend to not tolerate abusive partners and thus leave immediately when abuse begins. Low self-esteem individuals, on the other hand, tolerate abusive partners and stay in abusive relationships even when it poses a risk to their health and life. They tolerate abuse because, having low self-esteem, they are afraid they won’t find another person who will like them.

abuse relationships

But what is self-esteem, and how can one raise theirs?

The psychological definition of self-esteem is the subjective emotional evaluation of a person’s self-worth. This is a person’s own judgment about themselves as well as their attitude towards themselves. It can be raised by changing one’s perception about themselves and completely accepting one’s faults and weaknesses and promising to love oneself fully, fault and all.

High self-esteem is different from narcissism and egotism in that narcissistic and egotistic people still have low self-esteem and as a defense mechanism, crave for attention and hold a grandiose but unrealistic view of themselves, while people with high self-esteem assess themselves fairly and correctly without resorting to embellishments or self-lies. Narcissistic people cannot correctly self-asses, and in order to avoid facing their faults or weaknesses, they create false images of themselves which they project onto others. To mask their insecurities, they crave for attention, and they relentlessly talk about themselves in an attempt to raise their status or image. Individuals with high self-esteem find no need to look for attention, and are secure in their own skin, thus can readily admit their mistakes and own up to their faults.

The process of raising one’s self-esteem begins with the complete acceptance of one’s self, including imperfections. To be truly self-aware and not hide behind false self-perceptions, one must accept the reality that one cannot be perfect and therefore accept that having weaknesses is okay, yet still realize that even as imperfect beings, one must love oneself fully in order for true acceptance to begin. This journey begins with the individual accepting their imperfectness and realizing that even as imperfect beings, love can still happen. It is only when imperfectness is insisted upon and glorified as strength that self-esteem becomes narcissism. A well-adjusted individual accepts their faults and weaknesses but works to make themselves better.

When you begin to love yourself, you refuse to be abused any longer, and you stand up for yourself. People with high self-esteem enjoy happier relationships because they reject abusive individuals. They are not afraid to lose a partner because they know their self-worth does not depend on their partner. They know they’ll find another partner who will treat them better.

To have high self-esteem, you must not only have a positive view of yourself, you must also treat yourself positively. That means standing up for yourself and refusing to be a human doormat.

http://www.selfesteemawareness.com/hypnosis-for-confidence-and-improving-self-esteem/

As a song wisely says, “Learning to love yourself, is the greatest love of all.”

loveappreciation

Be Yourself: Increase Your Dating Confidence

My friend, let me tell you the secret to all dating woes.

Just be yourself.

It seems cliché but it’s the simple truth. Men who don’t pretend and just act as themselves have a higher chance of dating success. It’s not about getting the girl to say yes every time, it’s about not caring if they say no.

dating confidence

By simply being yourself, you increase the chances of finding someone who likes you for who you truly are, instead of someone who likes you for the fake person you’re pretending to be. And that, in my book is dating success. It’s not about getting “yes’s” all the time, it’s about getting a lot of “no’s,” but getting that one “yes” from someone you’re truly compatible with.

The more you become comfortable in your own skin, the more women will feel the confidence exuding from you. And that my friend, is a guaranteed attraction for women. Confidence is a psychological aphrodisiac which most women find irresistible. In fact, it is ingrained in women’s DNA to look for the biggest, baddest Alpha male they could find. And they usually do this by looking for the most confident male they can find, their brains translating confidence as a gauge for success. Because who in their right mind would attribute success to a timid guy, right? If a guy is exuding confidence, he must be successful beyond belief!

And unlike some things in life, you can’t fake confidence. You can try, but women can smell fake confidence from a mile away. If you fake being confident, you either come out as a braggart or as a cocky turd. Either way, you become a loser by default.

Those men you see who always get the girl or who always get a date even on first meetings are men who have endured a lot of rejection and have thus built the right responses to being rejected. And that is to not care. By not caring, you practice the first rule of confidence: not giving a flying fuck.

The second rule of confidence is just being yourself. Because only a truly confident man will present himself as himself. A doubtful man will pretend to be someone else. And pretending to be someone else only means one thing: you don’t believe in yourself.

The third rule of confidence is taking rejection in stride. It’s the hardest rule to master but the one which will garner the most success when mastered.

Women evaluate true confidence by this measure. True confident men react to rejection without losing their composure. Fake confident men falter and show their true colors.

It takes a lot of practice to react correctly to rejection, and it involves a lot of trials and errors. There’s no set of right and wrong reactions for every situation so be prepared to endure a lot of rejections before you get it right. The important thing is rule number 1: to not give a flying fuck.

And oh, not giving a flying fuck doesn’t mean being rude. It means being composed enough to smile and move on. That’s what separates confident men from cocky bastards.

Lack of Assertiveness and What You Can Do About It

Assertiveness is shown by expressing one’s needs, wants, and emotions without the need to be aggressive or disrespectful of another person’s rights. People who lack assertiveness are unable to communicate their concerns effectively or make decisions for themselves. They are usually faced with unplanned, awkward, and unpleasant situations. These situations often lead to mixed feelings of anger and anxiety because the person is unable to say or do what he means to.

AssertivenessWhy Some People Lack Assertiveness

There are several factors that can cause a person to lack assertiveness. Lack of self-confidence and low self-esteem are two of the major causes. These feelings can make a person deal with others passively just to avoid conflict and arguments. When a person’s rights are not asserted, his wants not clearly stated, and/or his feelings not freely expressed, it might invite other people to treat him in the same manner. A vicious cycle of reduced self-confidence and passive response is then perpetuated unless the person does something to break it.

The social role of a person can also lead to being non-assertive. One common stereotype is for women to be passive and for men to be aggressive as defined by past traditions and cultures. A person’s position at work can also cause lack of assertiveness. Being assertive to a superior is much more unlikely than to a co-worker or colleague who is on the same level in the organization.

Other people may have learned to be non-assertive because of experiences in the past or during their formative years. Parents are usually the first role models and their behaviors are often copied by their children. If the parents lack assertiveness, the children are more likely to be the same. And on the flip side, parents who are too assertive yet expect their children to be submissive will cause the kids to lack assertiveness as they become grow up.

Unfortunately, behavior that is learned is difficult to undo and may require the help of professional counselors. Learnt behavior also leads people to believe that they are naturally passive, assertive, or aggressive, and that there is nothing they can do about it. This is almost always a wrong assumption. Each person can be assertive whether his natural tendency is to be passive or aggressive.

Stress is another factor that can affect someone’s assertiveness. It can cause a person to feel like he is unable to control what is happening with his life. While some people can be aggressive when under stress, some choose to be on the passive side. Stress causes anxiety and anger. How people react to it defines behavior.

Becoming Assertive

Basically, being assertive starts with realizing what a person’s rights are as a human being — such as the right to his own beliefs, to tell others how he should be treated, to refuse what he doesn’t want, to express his feelings, to make mistakes, to stand for himself, and to be respected. He also does not have to explain his action to others as long as it is within the boundaries of morality.

In addition, some people who have deeply rooted issues in low self-esteem or learnt behavior as previously mentioned may need to undergo counseling or therapy. Some psychiatrists may prescribe hypnosis to boost confidence and find out what’s causing the overly passive behavior. Hypnosis to treat one’s lack of assertive is another tried and tested method that many have vouched for.